The Ideal Man and How to Keep Him


Dear Thinette


Thinette behind a laptop


What makes the ideal man and a great lover … and how should I treat him to keep him?

According to history there were quite a few ideal men, Casanova, Don Juan, Romeo, Mark Anthony, Julius Caesar, Lord Byron, Errol Flynn or Gabriele D’Annunzio?

When looking closer, the men in history have been myths. The older Casanovas were in fact less romantic.

One was a fantasy, but the other, were romantic players for selfish reasons, seduced women, abuse them and then broke their hearts.

 They could be called Toxic men, my dear.

Are there any modern day men with charisma and style?  Their behaviour should show the respect they have for a woman. Who will it be, Sean Connery, Leonardo DiCaprio, Denzel Washington or Keanu Reeves?

The modern Casanovas still have to prove their worth as an ideal man, and whether he is a keeper.

What Do I Have To Look For

What are the personality and characteristics you should look for in an ideal man that will secure lifelong happiness?

He is a man who will respect and protect you, appreciate you, adore you and desire you for who you are. Treat you like a princess, makes you feel loved, secure and happy. He will thus be your ideal man and super hero forever.


I believe it is possible to find more than one soulmate during your lifetime. Not everybody is lucky to find even one. The best way is to move on like a butterfly until you find your perfect man, he is out there.


What Makes an Ideal Man Different


On the outside it is easy to see the differences between a man and a woman, but the real difference is on the inside. Women are normally easy to read, men on the other hand are far more difficult.


They are taught to be strong and therefore hide their emotions. Men feel vulnerable when their emotions or feelings are exposed.

A man needs to really trust you before he will show his true self. Behind this facade of bravado there is a soft gentle man waiting to be embraced.

Responsibilities have a huge impact and make a man who he is. He lives in a serious and very competitive world.


He is the logic thinker for winning, solving problems and survival, always chasing a goal.

Make it a priority to understand your ideal man and do not judge him from your perspective.

The best way to get a man’s attention is to be happy, full of fun, laugh easily and be a sunshine. Be never silly or too serious on a date or in a conversation.

Be light-hearted flirty and a bundle of joy. Only be serious when the situation asks for it.


Behind the man on a mission there is a romantic who wants to break free. Never judge your man, always ask yourself, Why does he behave the way he does? Find the reason behind his behaviour.



The Ideal Man

What will make me happy


Most of all, he must love you with all his heart. Leave no stone untouched if something upsetting happens or threatens to separate you two. He must do all he can to restore the relationship.

1. Respect you and all other women. Observe his behaviour towards people, animals and things. Most of all, he must respect your boundaries.

2. The ideal man will be honest and loyal in everything he does and the way he talks. He must never lie to you.

3. Sharing your past, future, feelings and happenings. Be vulnerable but feel safe at the same time in a peaceful warm relationship with him. He will feel the same and only open up if he can trust you fully. That creates intimacy.

4. Is he kind and caring towards you and tells you everyday he loves and adores you. Is he kind to people and animals?

5. Can you trust him. Does he do what he says. Acts speak louder than words.

6. Being compassionate. Does he care? The way he talks about his parents, family and friends is important because that is the way he will care and talk about you too.

7. Is he a generous person, or stingy. The law of the Universe teaches you, what you give comes back to you in many ways.

8. Does he forgive easily and can say, I am sorry. It is not necessary to always be right.

9. Give you space to be yourself and develop your own personality, not controlling and restricting.

10. To be your partner in all you do, and is always on your side. Are you a dream team together.

11. Is he a responsible man? Is he responsible with finances? Does he protect you, make you feel safe. Love you deeply and make you feel secure in public and at home.

12. Are you doing things together, is he spending quality time with you.

13. Does he have the same values as you, and can you discuss it.

14. Is he confident, and has good skills.

15. Does he have ambition and a plan for the future?

16. Your ideal man should support you in your goals and help you grow as a person.


No man can be all. It is wise to priorities the points. See how many of the blocks you can tick off of your perfect man.


All of these are important, it is hard to compromise on any. If a man’s behaviour ticks all these boxes, he is really a true gentleman and will make the best of his future and yours. If one is missing it can become a deal breaker in the future.

To summarise, he must be a man of integrity.





There is a difference in the ways men and women communicate.


For the ideal man communication is to negotiate for power, and does not mean to control. They want to avoid failure and want to win the situation in the best possible way.


Women on the other hand communicate with emotion to get closer, seek understanding and love, to find equality and balance.


Two totally different strategies, causing many misunderstandings ending in arguments. By watching body language you will learn a lot, and prevent it before it gets out of hand.


If you feel unhappy, walk up to him, put your arms around him and say you are not happy, and want to solve the problem. Ask him, what would he suggest the best way to solve the situation. Give him the power and he will do what makes you happy.


Be direct, no guessing game. Never hint to a man. Make a request, give him the power to be able to serve you. Making you feel special, it is his way to make you happy, and when you are happy it makes him happy too. Men do not do small talk


He is communicating to you with his actions. See it and verbally appreciate it by telling him.


When in public, acknowledge his achievements and tell people about it. It boosts his ego and that makes him fond of you.


Always defend your man when someone says something negative.


Support and encourage him in all his actions, whether at home or at work.


Listen to what he says with an open mind. Not judgmental or criticizing.


Know the love language of your man. If you observe closely you will recognise it.


The 5 Languages of Love.


1. Words. Is he often verbally telling you he loves, you look pretty, or sexy. Leave your little notes of love. He will ask: Do you love me or do you want to make love to me?


2. Quality Time. Does he spend time with you, do things with you, take you to special places. Come to you where you are busy in the kitchen or whatever, just to be with you.


3. Acts of Love. Do things for you that are part of your everyday routine as a surprise without asking him. Make you your favourite drink, start your car early in the morning, ready for you to go to work, Run you your bath with candles and your glass of wine at the end of a day.


4. Gifts. Does he bring you flowers, chocolates or jewellery out

Man tying a neckless around a woman's neck of the blue to surprise you. He wants to treat you to dinner at a restaurant or weekend away.


5. Physical Touch. He will put his arms around you and just hold you. Walk down the street holding your hand or with his arm around your waist. Touching when talking to you or pinch your bum walking past you.


Find his way of loving and love him the same way back, that way he will know you love him too.


A Man and His Phone


Brown Leather Shoes, Man, Earphones


His cell phone is his treasure, and he is addicted to it. Use it to your advantage and send him flirty messages during the day.

He is a visual creature, dare to send him a naughty photo or picture, only if you trust him. Romantically a man wants to feel he is in charge and is winning this game. Make him feel you are the ‘prey’ he wants to go after. Keep the fire of romance burning.


Magic Text Number 1

This text is to get him Curious and catch his Attention. Makes him feel he has to pursue you.

Text only half the text, “I can’t stop thinking ………..”

This will get his attention, his imagination will get going and you have his attention. He will text back “….about what?

Leave it at that, or give him an illusive answer, saying he will find out tonight, you have a surprise.


Magic Text Number 2

Establish his feeling of Power. When you use the text above, take it to the next level and when he asks …. about what?”, you can say

“I feel so safe when you are around” or

“ It is so exciting how the butterflies flutter in my tummy when you take my hand” or

“How amazing it feels when you look me in the eyes”

All of these establish his Power and Strength. You will make him feel so good that he is able to do that to you.


Magic Text Number 3

This time you engage his most powerful sense … his imagination.

Engage his mind on a primal level, making him crave you wherever he is. Make him imagine how it will feel when he is with you.

“I am sitting here and all I can do is imagine how amazing it is going to be when I see you tonight …..”

“I will be ready for whatever you have in mind”

Set his mind on fire with ideas he can imagine.


In a Nutshell

You do not have to use it all at once, spreading it out over days can add to the excitement. You will find your own magic way.


Step 1 Make him Curious to get his Attention, but don’t give him too much information, keep him guessing.


Step 2 Establish his sense of Power. Your strong Hero who will protect you and make you feel secure and happy.


Step 3 Use a text to trigger his Imagination. Have him thinking about a future event, how great it is going to be to see you and be with you.


Let him get that wonderful feeling when you are around, make him feel happy, carefree and relaxed, and he won’t be able to get enough of you.


The Game Of Love


What is love? I read somewhere they say it is “Lust mixed with Respect, with the determination to do the best for your loved one.”


The game of love for a man means chasing. It is in a man’s nature to be in a race to success, and loves to win that game, whether it is a goal or a woman. That is the ultimate. Nothing can excite him more or gives him more pleasure than to be the winner in this game.


Let him be the hunter. He needs to struggle and will go to all lengths to get what he wants. It builds up the passion to make the need stronger. Things that come too easy don’t mean much.

Your man will work hard for your admiration, To make you happy is the main goal in his life, he wants to claim you as his own. Make sure you appreciate it and he knows it.


Be provocative, sometimes controversial and elusive, postponing the excitement of achievement. Take deliberate slow seductive steps, building the anticipation and passion.


Remember not to stop playing this game of hunter and valuable price. Once he has claimed you, the race is still on, now it is to keep him.

It lasts as long as you are with a man, until your golden era or should it be your silver years. At seventy plus years of age the game is still on.


A man and emotions. Inside every ideal man there is a hopeless romantic beast waiting to romance you. Play this hunting game to flip that switch in his brain to want you and romance you.

Stay sexy, flirty and exciting. Stay young at heart and mind, never the same or boring. It should become the lifestyle of love.



Emotional support is so crucial in any relationship. The lack of the feeling of approval and encouragement leaves one disabled, therefore it is important to affirm your appreciation and respect everyday.


Tell Your Man Everyday


Appreciate all he does for you. You will find many things you can appreciate about him.


Respect his values. The way he behaves towards you and his parents. How dedicated he is to provide for the family.


Honest. Be an honest person in all you do and say. No hidden secrets, be open with him and let him in on all important things going on in your life.


Trust goes both ways. Always behave in such a way that you can be trusted. Leave no thought to ever doubt you.


Adore your man. His actions should make you proud of him to be your hero.


Desire should be the glue for a successful relationship. Attraction and desire plays a huge role in intimacy. Make sure you are both on the same page with the activities behind the bedroom door.


Men are always ready to play, no matter how tired they are, it is a cure for many things.


A man will never pressure you, but is always game for fun. You should make the choice to enjoy it just as much as he does, and never see it as a chore. It is always an excitement to enjoy.

Talk about it openly and make sure you both want the same. Keep lovemaking alive, playful, and fun because that is the reason you are together.



The differences between a man and a woman makes for a perfect balance. One is the brave problem solver, the logic goal chaser and the other the emotional nurturer attending to feelings and balance.


Acknowledge this and be the ideal team to conquer the world. You being the caretaker of the health of your relationship and he will be the good provider and make sure you will be safe.


Love you lots

Picture of Stella

Granny Estelle








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